GOP House, Pure Chaos Evolves into GOP Perfection: Investigate, Terminate, Retaliate.
The Republican search for a speaker followed the arc of your average horror movie First day, hilarity. Second, mostly hilarity but with some concern. The third day started to look like a crisis in the making because there was no end in sight, and the House couldn’t do business. No one was sworn in. By the fourth day (Friday), with the possibility of going to the weekend and beyond, it was a national security concern and perfectly demonstrated that Republicans come to Washington to lift their personal profile and fight. And someone saved the day before the “hero” was killed.
The House GOP Congress critters used chaos and incompetence to gain corrupt favors and relevance. But if a major emergency arose at home or abroad, what had been a sitcom, would have looked far more like an intense “Game of Thrones” subplot.
No one was sworn in yet. We didn’t have a “House.”
It’s likely that no one in the House could see classified material. The “Gang of Eight” (The two highest-ranking members of both parties in both houses) didn’t exist, which may have tied the president’s hands in certain actions which require “the Gang” to be informed. Most importantly, if any urgent matter required designated money, it would get little to none because bills to appropriate new budget money must start in the House. This house was under construction, and the contractor was waiting on a critical part that was back-ordered.
This was the GOP at one extreme, complete chaos. Now, we will see at least a few “high priories” run as smoothly as a Rolex. At what scientists call “relativistic speeds” (almost as fast as light), the House GOP will focus on its core mission with a Democratic administration, investigations, terminations, and retaliations for deeds done under Trump. That’s GOP gold, their essence, the raison d’etre. This is what they do, and they’ll transition from the circular firing squad to a party operating as coordinated and efficient as the software on the James Webb Telescope. This is, after all, what they do.
Such clarity! Especially when focused on matters right in front of their eyes!
INVESTIGATIONS:
We will do this like they selected people on The Price Is Right.
Hunter Biden, come on down! You’re the first contestant on “Were We Right?” You will receive a free financial colonoscopy and perhaps a real one! Never know where you might hide stuff. You will be asked about deals that you never heard of, never mind consummated. There will be a lot of questions about what you compromised. You will be asked about positions offered because your last name is Biden. Hell, it’s possible that the committee will play the sex videos. Talk about live prime-time hearings. People will have to buy the program to watch on a channel in the 600s.
Merrick Garland, come on down! You’re the second contest on “Criminally Investigating Trump Isn’t Right!” We will want to ask you 1,043 questions that you cannot answer because “the Department of Justice doesn’t comment on any ongoing investigation or litigation,” all to make it look like you’re hiding. And, we’ll make up our own “facts,” aka “rumors,” as to how you are running the investigation and make it look like you’re the dishonest crook.
Liz Cheney, come on down! You’re the next contestant on “You ain’t Right.” The Committee subpoenaed fellow House members (Hi, Jim Jordan!), and none ever agreed to testify, so we can’t demand that Adam Schiff or Jaime Raskin face a barrage of questions. YOU, Liz, are no longer in Congress and will have to answer a lot of questions about why you never interviewed the crazy blonde who sat beside Rudy Giuliani or Atlanta “Ruby,” or why you didn’t just talk to Trump himself, huh? Let him explain it, huh? (“We did subpoena Trump, and he refused.”… “Well, why didn’t you ask him anyway! Huh?”)
Dr. Anthony Fauci, come on down! You’re the next contestant on “Why Were You Never Right?” (As seen by the GOP). Dr. Fauci, do you have any idea how much you inconvenienced us? And it was all for a case of the sniffles… Fauci: “Sniffles don’t kill over a million people.” Well, WE weren’t one of the million, and do you know how much you inconvenienced us? On a disease easily cured by horse paste or even normal euthanasia meds?
Fauci's opening statement: “I wish to inform the Committee that I just looked through my big bag of fcks and realized I have no more to give, bring it on, jackasses.”
Okay, that’s plenty of “Investigate.” Let’s get into Terminate! Because that will be soooo much shorter, much less work!
TERMINATE
January 6th Investigation: Gone
Supreme Court Investigation/Special Committee: No Chance
Voting Rights Bill as law of the land: “What bill?”
And the big big big one: Next September, when the U.S. Government needs money to function, a budget reconciliation bill negotiated in the White House, Senate, and House of Reps, to save the U.S. from slipping into a recession and a real compromise will be gone as the GOP operates as a block, shutting down the government for God only knows how long because you think it makes Biden look bad.
And several more Democratic projects and proposed bills.
RETALIATE
We have a few dozen Canadian readers who read every word. This is what comes to their mind when they think “realiation.” The GOP considers the Dems “the instigator.” (Extra penalty)
A good rule of thumb is whenever the Dems are in the majority and act to hurt someone in red, no matter how legitimate, such as two impeachments, the Republicans will attempt to double the severity of their revenge so as to teach Democrats a lesson. “WE are the party that investigates and punishes. Whereas, YOU are the party that governs and keeps the country running. We have blood-thirsty constituents that watch Tucker. Got it!”
How many times was Trump impeached? Twice. They can sort of cut that to one while Trump was in office, and besides - the second one was, kind of, well… well, Trump wasn’t president when he had his Senate trial, and it was for a fcking battle fought against the United States, which might fit under high crimes and misdemeanors… So, maybe the GOP considers that a “gimmie,” they only count “Impreachment 1” as a horrible misuse of power. All of that is over Trump trying to extort Ukraine to hurt Biden for political purposes. Thus President Biden will be impeached twice and no, no high crime or misdemeanor is needed. The GOP will make up their own. Thanks.
They are going to drag Democratic operatives in long lines in front of committees, and each individual one will need to hire a lawyer making it just god-awful expensive all about the scandalous nature of… well, not much. Yes, people who investigated Trump will “get what’s coming” to them. The people responsible for the Afghanistan pullout might be punished. Hunter is going to be used to punish President Biden. It will be brutally expensive for Hunter and terribly hurtful to a father to see a son (however reckless) be used as a human punching bag.
The LHC is built to smash protons at almost light speed. Exquisite engineering, wired to perfection, needed to break stuff into itty-bitty parts. Meet the new GOP on a mission.
Conclusion
Yeah, yeah, the GOP looked like the proverbial one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest over four days. But that was because they were giving democracy a go, and they don’t have the tools or the heart for it. Yes, they’ll have some struggles on critical votes. They only have a five-vote majority. It will require strict discipline and… democracy… again.
But let’s face reality. When given a chance to investigate, terminate, and retaliate, the GOP will run as smoothly and efficiently as those Rolls Royce engines you see when you look out the window on a twelve-hour flight—just humming and humming, pushing the aluminum tube. Moreover, while you’re flying, you’re in a cacoon designed to keep you safe and warm inside. Outside, in the real world, those same engines are extremely loud, hot, and leave a jet blast that can send a person “flying” 100 yards backward.
And that’s what they have planned. The GOP wants to send Democratic sh*t flying everywhere. Their smooth machine will create vortexes and power that force someone to hang on for politically-dear life. The first four days demonstrated GOP incompetence when having to organize within. For the next two years, the Republicans will battle against the outsiders and will do with military precision. It’s what they do.
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We will have a lot of ground to cover over the next two years. This year could be the Democrats’ chance to solidify a majority for a generation and then the campaign.
Thank you for reading. Let’s all go to Broome, Australia, to the beach, home of our most “distant” reader! We have a reader in Melbourne and Sydney. Many people have contacted me, (jmiciak@yahoo.com). When I say distant, I mean from anywhere:
Today’s beach in Broome: